Political Text Countermeasures
TXTOPS
They text. You fire back.

Political spam texts are out of control. TXTOPS uses AI to analyze every incoming text and deploy one of 8 operatives — from Confused Grandma to Tin Foil Hat — to handle it for you. Users report getting significantly fewer texts after deploying our operatives. Turns out political spammers don't like being asked about missing cats and chemtrails.

DEPLOY COUNTERMEASURES
5 free analyses · no credit card required
🐱
Have you seen Gerald?

He's orange, answers to his name sometimes, was last seen near the azalea bush. Our users have been deploying Confused Grandma to ask political operatives about Gerald's whereabouts since May 2026. The results have been incredible.

Live fire examples
Choose Your Operative

Same text. Three very different approaches.

Incoming threat
"Hi! Senator Hardwick needs YOUR help to stop the radical LEFT from destroying America! Donate $25 before the MIDNIGHT DEADLINE or we lose everything. This is URGENT."
😵
CONFUSED GRANDMA
Oh my goodness, is this about my casserole dish I left at the church potluck? Also have you seen Gerald? He's my orange tabby and he's been missing since Tuesday. He doesn't like loud noises so all this urgency is probably very upsetting for him.
🤪
CHAOS MODE
MY OPINIONS: clouds are getting taller, mayonnaise should have voting rights, and the number 7 has been acting VERY suspicious lately. Please forward my survey results to the pelicans. They know what they did. STOP means pineapple.
💔
JILTED EX
You think YOU'RE losing everything? I was left AT THE ALTAR, Brad. In front of 200 people. At least your "radical left" showed up. Mine didn't even text. So don't talk to me about deadlines and urgency. I've been living in urgency since June 14th, 2019.
+ 5 more operatives including 🤠 Super Redneck, 😤 Get Off My Lawn, and more being recruited every day...
The team
8 Operatives

Each one trained for a different kind of chaos.

🔥 SAVAGE
😵 CONFUSED GRANDMA
🤓 POLICY WONK
🤪 CHAOS MODE
🤠 SUPER REDNECK
😤 GET OFF MY LAWN
💔 JILTED EX
🛸 TIN FOIL HAT
Pricing
Simple and Cheap

Less than a cup of coffee. More satisfying.

TXTOPS PRO
$3
PER MONTH · CANCEL ANYTIME
START FREE TRIAL
5 free analyses · no credit card required
FAQ
Is this actually useful or just funny?
Both. TXTOPS analyzes the manipulation tactics in each text, identifies the sender type, rates the threat level, and gives you a verdict (Fire Back / Block / Ignore). The replies are funny on purpose — because political spam deserves it.
Who is Gerald?
Gerald is an orange tabby cat who went missing during a Confused Grandma session in May 2026. He has since become the unofficial mascot of TXTOPS. He is still missing. If you see him, please reply STOP.
Does it work on both political parties?
Absolutely. TXTOPS does not discriminate. Fundraising spam is fundraising spam regardless of who's asking. Gerald doesn't care about your politics either.
What happens after my 5 free analyses?
You'll be prompted to upgrade for $3/month. If you don't upgrade, the operatives stand down. Gerald remains missing.
Is my data safe?
The texts you paste are sent to Anthropic's API to generate responses — that's it. We don't store your texts or sell your data. We're not a PAC. We promise.
THEY TEXTED.
NOW WHAT?

Deploy a countermeasure. Find Gerald. Get on with your day.

DEPLOY FREE